We all want to be happy. In fact, the pursuit of happiness has become synonymous with the human condition. This is testament to the incredible progress we as a species have made—the pursuit of happiness is a modern phenomenon; it has not always been the case. For most of human history, our ancestors’ reality was one of a continuous struggle for survival—food was scarce and predators plentiful.
On the African savannas of our hunter-gatherer grandparents, it was a valuable trait to be a Negative Nancy (i.e., to err on the side of caution). The Negative Nancies were the ones that thought twice before eating the delicious-looking but suspect berries. They were the ones that ran like possessed lunatics at the mere rustle in the nearby bushes. They always expected the worst. And therefore, they were also the ones that stayed alive long enough to reproduce and ensure the continuation of their genes (and their traits).
Happiness is not the default setting of the brain. We have been hardwired by evolution over eons to emphasize the negative. There is no time to even formulate the idea of happiness when one’s attention is fully occupied by the demands of survival. However, it will seem that we came out on top of the constant battle for survival, at least in terms of the availability of food and safety from flesh-eating tigers. Our victory is partly due to our cautious nature—which consequently also led to most of human ingenuity. If we were simply happy all the time, we would not have the iPad. But we are in the fortunate position today where we can shift our attention away from the dangers lurking in the bushes and focus on what makes us happy.
Happiness is a psychological phenomenon, a state of mind. It has to do with the subjective quality of one’s experiences and thoughts. Ordinarily, we would associate the feeling of happiness with the sensation of pleasure we get from the release of neurotransmitters in the brain in response to a stimulus. For example, the sight of a fried chicken wing will not only make one’s mouth water, but will also release neurotransmitters in the brain making one excited. The absolute out-of-this-world sensation of pleasure hits a peak when the taste of the chicken wing touches the lips. This must be the ultimate form of happiness.
This might have been the case for our berry-eating and tiger-dodging ancestors. But for most of us, there is more to happiness than just these pleasant experiences. We redefine happiness for our modern world. If we were hedonists only seeking pleasurable experiences, we would die with an oily smile inside a bucket of fried chicken. But there is more to happiness than the fleeting sensation of pleasure. When asked if they would plug into a virtual reality machine that can perfectly simulate any reality, and ensure only pleasurable experiences forever, most people decline the offer. There is something missing.
There is another form of positive experience that we yearn for. We desire a sense of life satisfaction that can only be achieved by living meaningful lives in the real world. This desire cannot be satiated by finger-licking goodness or the illusions of pleasure in a virtual world. We crave meaning in the real world.
Happiness, therefore, is not just the experience of pleasure, but also the experience of meaning over time. Knowing that what one is doing is for something—that it has meaning—changes the experience. It injects the experience with goodness and delight.
In this way, athletes (including amateur athletes) can experience enjoyment from the otherwise seemingly horrifying experience of training for a marathon. Similarly, practicing the violin or studying for an exam can be meaningful and therefore, enjoyable. The sense of meaning brings a different quality to the experience. Mere pleasure, like that which one experiences when the fried chicken touches one’s lips, is fleeting. As soon as the effects of the neurotransmitters diminish, so does the feeling. But accomplishing something meaningful can produce life-enriching and long-lasting satisfaction.
Furthermore, the memories of the accomplishment can continue to give a sense of pride and joy in the future when one purposefully directs their attention to it. Science supports the claim that pursuing meaning over pleasure leads to greater life satisfaction. In the end, balance is the key. Happiness is a chimera of pleasurable experiences and a feeling of satisfaction with one’s life. We want to live balanced lives filled with meaning and pleasure. Both the sense of satisfaction with one’s life and the feeling of pleasure are positive mental states that one can choose to attend to.
And happiness has a lot to do with the allocation of attention. Tending to solely focus on the negatives, like Nancy, will leave one less happy than Positive Pete, who tends to focus on the positives. This means one can boost their sense of happiness by purposefully choosing to attend to the positive (and shunning the negative).
Even in the midst of melancholy, one can find a glimmer of happiness by directing their attention appropriately. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of the world. It is determined by the quality of one’s thoughts.
Obviously, it is impossible to never feel unpleasant sensations. But one can control how they respond to such sensations. One can purposefully choose to not let such thoughts get them down. One can control the impact of the negative sensations on their mood by withdrawing attention from it.
Every individual has the power to control the quality of their experiences by choosing how to allocate their attention. Choose to focus on pleasant experiences in every moment. In this moment, one can either choose to focus on the corruption and mismanagement the local politicians are undoubtedly guilty of, or one can shift their attention to the pleasant, fulfilling, and meaningful feeling one gets from reading this wonderful book. It is important to learn to control one’s attention; otherwise, despair can quickly and easily dominate with one thought of misery followed by the next.
If happiness is just a mindset, what role does money play? Research clearly shows that above a certain minimum threshold, more money does not equal more happiness. Yes, there is a gain in happiness when moving from poor to middle class, but the gain drops considerably when moving from middle class to upper class. Once a person crosses that threshold that moves them out of poverty, earning more money makes little difference to their happiness levels. Money does not equal happiness.
People who seek money because they believe accumulating more material possessions will make them happy quickly discover the failure of this belief. People who place an emphasis on material possessions are less happy than those that do not. In fact, the social comparison that necessarily accompanies the quest for more and better material possessions is a road to misery, not happiness. In contrast, it has been shown that happiness by accumulating experiences is the better way to go.
Experience-related happiness lasts longer than material possession happiness. It has the added bonus that it includes good memories of the experience that can be revisited for future pleasure. It has been shown that even conversations about experiences are judged to be more enjoyable than conversations about material things. Furthermore, people who talk about experiences are also judged to be more likeable compared to their materialistic counterparts.
But the extent to which money and material possessions can influence happiness may depend strongly on the society one inhabits. Some societies, especially those that don’t emphasize the importance of owning the newest iPhone, can sustain high levels of happiness even with modest levels of wealth.
Happiness is not about money or material possessions. It is therefore desirable for society to divorce happiness from the attainment of material possessions. The key is finding pleasure in everyday life and in experiences from moment to moment.
Earning enough money to be free from the worries accompanied by the struggle for mere survival liberates one to focus on happiness and experiences. Once the threat of starvation is negated, an individual has the freedom to choose the experiences that makes them happy. Money does not make one happy, but a lack of money can be detrimental to the attainment of happiness. Money ensures options, and it enables the freedom to pursue those options.
A certain minimum amount of money is necessary to buy freedom. And freedom is necessary to choose to live authentically and to pursue meaningful experiences. True freedom allows one to create their own meaning, not to be dictated to by the traditional benchmarks. One gets to choose what they value and want to pursue.
But best not to pursue happiness. Pursue meaning. Happiness is not a destination that can be pursued. Happiness is a by-product that ensues when one is fully engaging in life. It is a mental state that emerges when engaging in interesting and challenging activities. It can be found in meaningful, supportive, and healthy relationships (including healthy relationships with the planet and all its life). It shows up while one is busy experiencing an authentic life filled with meaning.
If one can find a cause greater than themselves and dedicate their life to it—happiness will ensue. Striving for knowledge and understanding, of oneself and of the world, can be enlightening, satisfying, and filled with meaning. No one chooses to go through life with a child’s intellect, ignorant but happy. Happiness will ensue if one learns to attend to the positives, strive for meaning, expand their knowledge and understanding, and cultivate healthy relationships.
From what we know, there emerge a couple of sure-fire ways to immediately enhance one’s happiness. The first is to get a dog. Preferably a rescue from the local animal shelter. One will never find a more loyal companion than a dog. Neurotransmitters (happy drugs) are released when giving Spot a hug (both in the owner’s and the dog’s brains), resulting in an instant surge of pleasure. Owning a dog, especially a rescue, can also be extremely meaningful, resulting in long-lasting satisfaction.
The second behavioral change is to stop reading news anchored in sensationalism. Misery and despair sell, and therefore, most mass media news articles create and report exaggerated controversial stories. Negative stories. The truth gets manipulated and unnecessarily loaded with emotion to excite interest (and hysteria) in the greatest number of readers. This is not conducive to happiness. Stop attending to biased news and deliberately find something positive to direct one’s attention to.
And lastly. Exercise. Exercise in nature to compound the effect. Several feel-good neurotransmitters are released during exercise, and research shows that even a little exercise can have positive effects on one’s mood. Research also suggests that connecting with nature evokes positive emotions that promote wellbeing and a positive state of mind. There is a lot of beauty one can attend to in nature.
So, put down the book, turn off the news on the radio, and take Spot for a run in the woods.
Further Reading
Internet Resources:
Infinumgrowth.com – happiness and meaning of life
Forbes – how happy people get the balance right
The Marginalian – Alan Watts wisdom of insecurity
NIH – The Role of Oxytocin in the Dog–Owner Relationship
Books worth reading:
The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
The Meaning of Happiness: The Quest for Freedom of the Spirit in Modern Psychology and the Wisdom of the East by Alan W. Watts
Happy Brain: Where Happiness Comes From, and Why by Dean Burnett
The Science of Happiness: Unlocking the Secrets to Joy by Greta Rose
Neuro-Happiness: 37 Science-Based (5-Minute) Methods to Increase Your Daily Happiness, Fulfillment, and Contentment by Nick Trenton
Blydskap: Mindfulness-wenke vir ’n vreugdevolle lewe (Afrikaans Edition) by Johannes Bertus de Villiers
